Dealing with a Death

I’ve been rather absent from my blog recently dealing with the death of someone close to me. It’s quite remarkable how much energy it takes to mourn. Everything seems to move in slow motion.

This was a person I’d known my entire life. So I have a whole gamut of feelings, some pleasant, some not.

I did learn something in the last few months that is worth sharing. I found that the best way to lay old unhappy feelings to rest is to create new memories that are pleasant. But to do that, I had to recognize that some of my emotional responses were echoes of the past, and I had to choose to put them aside to make room for new memories. When I was able to create openness to a new experience of this person, it was remarkable how quickly some feelings of tiredness and depression receded.

I am so glad I took the opportunity to learn this – while I still had time.

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3 Comments

Filed under Good with the Bad, Relationships

3 responses to “Dealing with a Death

  1. Dear Kathryn:

    I am saddened by the news of your relationship, while simultaneously joyful at the prospect of how your life experience will be expanded beyond what you otherwise may have known had you not experienced this loss. There is a book, “Necessary Losses” by Judith Viorst that reminds me how necessary it is to experience loss in order to evolve and grow as persons. True friends are such a gift and I am glad that you had the privilege of such a steadfast friend. May your days ahead be enlivened by the fact of your crossing paths. Blessings to you during this period of letting go while sharpening the lessons of love!

    Cynthia
    Rockville, MD

  2. Kathryn

    Cynthia,

    Thank you for your comment.

    Someone recently sent me a line from a Rumi poem: “Love’s confusing joy”

    That sums it up.

    Kathryn

  3. Ana

    Cynthia, I’m seeing your entry quite late, but for me it is very timely and it makes me appreciate the importance of creating wonderful memories always. Ana

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