A friend of mine at work gave me this approach to feedback called Blossoming from a book by Bruce Wilkinson. She told me great things about using it with her children. When I can remember, I try to use it with mine — and I think it can be used with others — [...]
I’m finding it relatively easy to remember the three qualities of appropriate negative feedback:
Specific to a situation
Not personal
Offers suggestions for improvement.
What about positive feedback? Certainly I find some positive feedback more appropriate and effective than others — both as a giver and a receiver. I’d like to propose a short list that is [...]
Thinking about disciplines that help people see and express the positive made me think of Richard Gabriel’s book, Writers’ workshops & the work of making things: Patterns, poetry, and … . The book is out-of-print, so I’m delighted to find a pdf of the final typeset version online, along with information by the [...]
I like the idea of virtue being the expert mean between deficit and excess (thanks, Aristotle). For example, courage is the expert mean between cowardice and rashness. Expert indicates that finding the right place in the middle requires judgment. A particular act may be courageous in some situations and foolishly rash in [...]
Here’s something that I wish I had learned before I had children:
Process praise focuses on the effort and strategy behind a specific behavior. “You worked hard!” “You thought of a terrific way to help that person.” In contrast, person praise involves making global assessments based on specific behavior. “You are so smart!” “You are [...]
