Startling books

If somebody asked you whether you’d like to read a book about a collection of friends reshaping their lives after one dived into shallow water and permanently injured himself, would you jump at the chance? How about a book about a family and friend reshaping their lives after the daughter attempts suicide?

These are not [...]

Reflections on Marriage

We celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary on January 17. That has led me to think about what I’ve learned about marriage in slightly more than a quarter century.

My marriage is more important to me now than it was in the beginning. I think that’s because of the collected weight of so many shared [...]

Effective Positive Feedback

I’m finding it relatively easy to remember the three qualities of appropriate negative feedback:

Specific to a situation
Not personal
Offers suggestions for improvement.

What about positive feedback? Certainly I find some positive feedback more appropriate and effective than others — both as a giver and a receiver. I’d like to propose a short list that is [...]

A discipline for finding the positive: Writers’ workshops

Thinking about disciplines that help people see and express the positive made me think of Richard Gabriel’s book, Writers’ workshops & the work of making things: Patterns, poetry, and … . The book is out-of-print, so I’m delighted to find a pdf of the final typeset version online, along with information by the [...]

There’s a place for ‘Appropriate Negativity’

I like the idea of virtue being the expert mean between deficit and excess (thanks, Aristotle). For example, courage is the expert mean between cowardice and rashness. Expert indicates that finding the right place in the middle requires judgment. A particular act may be courageous in some situations and foolishly rash in [...]